FIRST DRAFT
Excerpt from REALITY IS MY NIGHTMARE

©2005 Michael P. DiPaolo
Preface:
To The Reader…

I CONFESS!  I'm a goddamned liar…in fact…everything in this book is a lie...a filthy lie.  But why lie?  Why try to put on some kinda literary level…the very cry of life?  Simple…I don't own the truth…all right…all right…pipedown…I can already hear you askin'…"OK smartass…who…exactly…does own THE TRUTH?" Well…after attempting to do as little work as possible…videotapin' confessions…without getting fired…for over 16 years…at the Brooklyn District Attorney's Office…in New York City…I can say without blinkin' an eye…that the police & lawyers & judges…aided & abetted by the six or seven largest media conglomerates…OWN the truth…or at least…what our society…you know…anyone who actually believe the bullshit cable TV is spewing…you know…the vast majority of Americans…likes to call…or has agreed upon as…THE TRUTH.  Of course…this doesn't necessarily mean…THIS TRUTH IS TRUE!…but…whoever refuses to buckle under…whoever refuses to "BUY or SELL these 'self-evident' truths…enforced by marketing campaigns Nazi propaganda  minister Josef Goebbels woulda been proud of…will be marginalized…called a LIAR!…CRAZY!…better yet…a CRAZY LIAR!…so you see…that makes me at the very least…a liar…possibly crazy…maybe even a crazy liar…so I can only say…or rather…plead…guilty as charged!

I didn't start out as a crazy liar…HONEST!  Well…what the hell happened?  What changed my mind? Let me tell you…being in the same room with more murderers than most police ever will…videotapin' all those truly goddamned confessions…on the graveyard shift…SEEIN' FIRST HAND…what goes down…who's doin' what to whom…all over the entire bloodied borough of Brooklyn…behind the battered doors of every single police precinct…behind the fingerprint-smeared…glass-enclosed doors of the District Attorney's Office…behind the worm-eaten closed doors of various judge's chambers…behind the closed decrepit doors of various municipal hospital rooms…then sittin' back…and watchin'…not really believin' my own goddamn'd eyes…my own ears…as the TV/Radio/Newspapers cranked out…what they charitably call THE NEWS…really only spewing back the rehashed bullshit they'd been spoon-fed by our merry little band of dissemblers…you know…the Police…then the District Attorneys…and last but far from least…the Courts…who all agree on WHAT TO LET US KNOW…that is…THEIR VERSIONS OF WHAT HAPPENED…THEIR STORIES.  Let me testify…BROTHER AND SISTER…it ain't what I HEARD…or SAW!  And since these discrepancies piled up faster than flies finding shit…I just stopped reading newspapers…watching TV news…listening to radio…'cause if those distortions…occasionally outright lies…were fabricated so pervasively…on such a small local level…how much national…let alone international news…is nothing…but someone else's elaborate fiction? 

So…you see…my dear reader…the only path left open to me…if I really want to tell you what I've SEEN…HEARD…and FELT…over those 16 hell forsaken…but VERY interesting years…without my poor ass goin' to jail…or being sued into bankruptcy……is to LIE!  OK…I can hear the more cynical among you ask…"WHY BOTHER?" Well to tell the truth…if only for a second…not much longer…honest!…I can't get those broken & damaged lives…their tormented…tortured stories…out of my mind…I'm still haunted…hunted down by all those suffering faces…those exhausted…weary voices…SPILLING THEIR GUTS OUT…all right out in front of my silently churning…video camera.  Their stories…their REAL stories…never really get out…fully get out…ever get told…without some kind of distortion…unless there's some smart ass…tellin' us what their stories "REALLY MEAN"…via 'expert' commentaries and/or by…massive…but extremely creative…editing…all the way up and down the line…Court TV actually tried once…presentin' actual confessions…without commentary…all the animals in the zoo howled in protest…the cops…the DAs…the defense attorneys…the judges…YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!!!…THEY HAVE TO BE PUT IN CONTEXT!!!!…THEY CAN'T BE PRESENTED WITHOUT COMMENTARY!!!!  The show got yanked pretty damn quick…it didn't follow the rules of the game…might be open to "misinterpretation"…that is…any interpretation not steered…guided by…informed by those GATEKEEPERS…see…I know first hand…how those shoddy cable shows do all this…'cause I worked on one of those so called "Reality" shows…standin' around emergency room doors…waiting' for bloody bodies…tryin' to get them to spill their guts…so to speak…for the edification of the cable TV viewer…of course it didn't hurt that this is a really…really cheap way to make programming…shoddy ambulance chasing exploitation…worse than most pornography…sanctioned…owned…run by…profited by…one of the most respected names in American journalism…one of the true gatekeepers in our country…which reminds me…back to what I was jabberin' on about…THE GATEKEEPERS…first the cops…next the DAs…then the judges…and finally THE MEDIA…OUR OPINION MANUFACTURERS…er…excuse me…pardon me…OPINION MAKERS…who…each and every one of 'em…has their own special interest axes…to grind…mostly power or politics…of the mostly self-interested variety…OH REALLY?…hell…it doesn't really matter…since they all boil down to some thing…one form or other…of GREED…just some are better at hiding…disguising…I mean…more successful…that is…more prestigious…than others.

Don't get my me wrong…I'm no goddamned angel…I'm not pretending to be…I'm in this for the bucks too…no doubt about it…only difference is…my ax…my own particular ax…WHICH IS…all those goddamned liars…who try and run our lives…pretendin' to be altruistic eagles…soaring high in the sky…only trouble is…they're really cannibalistic lemmings leadin' us over the cliff.  So instead…for a change of pace…a breathe of fresh…well maybe not too fresh air…but at least a new…skewed…slanted…twisted…to my mind…slightly truer…point-of-view…FOLLOW ME…my dear hypocrite reader…my double…my brother…my sister…that is…IF your own morbid curiosity beckons…if not…I advise you…QUICKLY CLOSE THIS BOOK! TURN ON YOUR TV!  TUNE IN YOUR RADIO!  OPEN YOUR NEWSPAPER!  PERUSE YOUR PERIODICAL! THUMB THROUGH YOUR BEST SELLER!  AND REMAIN THE BLISSFULLY IGNORANT BASTARD YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN!

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